Log in

No account? Create an account
Amanda's So Called Life
[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]

Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in lordschild34's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]
Wednesday, November 16th, 2011
12:47 pm
Countdown Till TGivs
Hey all! I hope everyone is surviving their last few days of classes before thanksgiving break, I'm sure by this time of the semester everyone is begging for a nice break, I know I am. Between work, internship,classes,and football I've really had minimal downtime, which is good productivity wise, but can be overwhelming stress wise.

I haven't been back home since August and I actually really miss Reston and DC way more this semester than ever before. I miss all the food options, diversity, and general liveliness of Reston and the DC area (which sounds silly, because every time we're back in Reston we always complain that there's nothing to do). I just feel like I'm stuck in the same routine.... football games, eating at the same restaurants, going to the same two bars, hanging out with the same group of people, working, etc. I know I shouldn't complain about the food, since we're continually ranked as one of the highest in dining services, but even so, if you're eating the same old thing it still gets mundane. I love and hate that football games consume my entire fall semester. I love it, because they're fun and exciting and great memories with friends, but hate it because it's such a long process. Think about it: 2 or 3 hours spent tailgating beforehand, the game lasts 3 or 4 hours, then you either drink some more or just veg out the rest of the day to recover from it all. I've been dying to go hiking, especially McAffe's Knob, but since it's an 8 mile hike it requires an entire day, which I don't have. So now I'll have to wait to hike it next semester, please remind me to do this, because it's something I really do need to do before I leave Blacksburg.

I'm currently in Torg Bridge, procrastinating my 10 page paper that I haven't written yet. I've done 2 pages, but it's always hard for me to just get into the groove of writing and stay focused. I wish that writing didn't take so long for me and I could easily write a paper in no time, but alas it is an annoyingly long process for me. My family visited Blacksburg this weekend since Stephen is now a junior and beginning to look at schools. He seems open-minded to Tech, but I'm sensing his number one will be William & Mary. His SAT scores and GPA are both really high, so I think he has a great chance of getting into W&M and I think that he could fit the mold of the typical W&M student. He still has to visit UVA so maybe that will be another school he really likes (though I secretly hope he doesn't, j/k my UVA friends). As for me, the plan for my future is to apply for GMU's School of Public Policy at the Arlington campus and hopefully do an assistanship so that tuition is paid for, otherwise not sure how money will just appear to pay for it. The deadline is June 1st, not sure why it's so late, but I don't have to take the GREs which is awesome! In the meantime, I'll also be applying to any jobs/internships remotely related to my area, so that I can get the "experience" that most jobs want you to have. Other than that, I don't think I have anything else to report. Things are going well with the gf, although she's certainly got her hands full with student teaching on top of classes. She doesn't handle stress well so sometimes it can be difficult to feel like we're connecting when she's so preoccupied and worried about school and classes. I'm hoping that the break will allow her to mellow out a bit, and realize she doesn't need to be so serious all the time. I feel bad though, because her cooperating teacher is not very communicative and doesn't provide her with a lot of positive feedback in terms of her teaching methods and handle of the class. I'm sure dealing with 5 and 6 your olds must be tough and I'm sure any positive support would certainly help her keep focused and motivated to teach. I know I could never be a teach, because I'm horrible at explaining things, my kids would never learn a thing and would just be more confused than they were before, lol.

Anyways, I hope I see all of you over Thanksgiving break and if anyone happens to be in town, I'd love to go out for my birthday with the Reston crew on monday. If people aren't back yet, I'm sure we could plan to hang out and celebrate later on in the week, if that works better for people. Just let me know what would work, since we're now all at least 21, yay!

Current Mood: thoughtful
Monday, October 10th, 2011
10:58 am
It would be preferable if those that are abroad right now, would update on their adventures so I can live through you!!

Current Mood: envious
Wednesday, August 31st, 2011
9:55 am
I have no idea what free time is!
I know I shouldn't be complaining, but I think I'm running myself into the ground with all of the different responsibilities I have this semester. I start off my week working at ABP Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, which isn't difficult, but certainly draining by the end of it. I have a bio class Monday morning, which isn't hard (knock on wood), but is different than what I'm used to, because it's back in a huge class with standardized testing. On tuesday, I go to work from 8 am- 1:30 then have two classes, then go over to my campaign internship, this is by far the most exhausting day. I'm doing a campaign internship with our local state senator and house of delegate campaign race, which is probably the most interesting part of my day. Eventually, I will also be doing a fall fellowship for Obama, which will pretty much suck all of my free time away. I'm also waiting to hear if I've been accepted into the online internship with the state department, I hope I hear back soon! I'm not too concerned with my classes this semester, but I'm nervous about two of my classes that want me to write 10 page papers, which shouldnt be too bad, I just hope I have enough time for it. Whatever freetime I have on the weekend is spent with Laura or with my friends, which has been fun now that I'm not busy with sorority stuff. I hope everyone else is having a wonderful senior year! Please update me on your lives, k thanks!

Current Mood: exhausted
Thursday, April 7th, 2011
11:47 am
What is love?
So I think by now everyone knows that Jessica and I broke up over winter break, it sucked, i cried.. the end. I went back to Tech, dealt with all the sorority stuff and tried to see the light again and eventually expressed an interest to get back in the dating realm. My friend Sara set up a blind date with this girl named Laura, who happens to be her girlfriend's ex... I know, weird right? We go out on a few dates and I automatically feel a connection between us, we have plenty of the same interests and actually were both in Chorus back when Naomi and I took chorus(I'm always amazed that at such a big school, stuff like this happens all the time). We've been dating for about 2 months now and I'm crazy about her. I've never been with someone that knows how to communicate and share as easily as she does and it makes me feel so secure about everything. However, we've been taking this really slow, which is probably smart since we've both had terrible break-ups but at the same time I'm always wondering whether I feel more for her than she does for me. Currently, she lives with her ex and Sara pretty much is an unofficial roommate... Sara and Olivia(ex) literally have sex almost everyday, while we're there and it's really awkward and inconsiderate, because they don't even try to quiet themselves. I don't know how to explain this, because I can't understand it, but for some reason Laura and Olivia have decided to live together AGAIN next year... Why on earth would you want to live with your ex again?? It's beyond me.. I try not to let the uncertainty and jealousy get to me, but sometimes it's a bit much to try to ignore. I'm hoping that eventually she'll move on completely and want to be my girlfriend and everything with it, but I'm also terrified that she won't? Until I know more about how she feels, I guess I just have to take this one day at a time... oh life

Current Mood: confused
Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
3:51 pm
Spring better be just around the corner!
In terms of classwork, this semester has been a lot easier this semester because all of my classes are in essay format, with the exception of physical geology. Both of my history classes are extremely boring with teachers that don't use powerpoints, but instead use fragmented notes on an overhead. My favorite class is IR(International Relations)because the teacher is really personable and the class is discussion based. There are a few people in the class that really get on my nerves though, because they're really close minded and opinionated and completely under the disillusionment that America is and will always be the best country. Other than that, classes are going really well and I'm hoping for a good GPA this semester!

I'm so stressed about finances, because I don't have a job right now and any internship I get over the summer will most likely be unpaid. On top of my typical payments for the sorority, I'm going to have to shell out an additional $200 somethng, because we didn't fill the house and also over budgeted for bid day. I applied for dining services at the beginning of the semester and never heard anything back and recently put in an application with subway. I've applied to what seems like thousands of internships and have interviews set up with the humane society and the fairfax county park authority. I'd prefer the internship with humane society, except for the fact that I'll be shelling out a lot of money to take the metro into dc without any compensation to balance it out. Ideally, I'd like to hear back for work at Tech, but if I don't I may have to get a part time job on top of a full time internship. Looks like I'll be disappearing for another summer, oh boy!

In other news, I'm excited about relaxing over Spring Break, will anyone else be in Reston next week? If so we should hang out sometime!

Current Mood: contemplative
Wednesday, November 10th, 2010
12:54 pm
I know this is going to sound really emo...
Last weekend was Family Weekend, coincidently I was in charge of it all, which meant I had to care of catering, shirt orders, planning, and everything else. The VP finance person was a complete bitch and wasn't helping get my payments through on time and I was worried that I'd be out $1,000 for the event (total for shirts and food). Luckily in the end, we were able to pay for the shirts, but I'm still down $300 and who knows when I'll be reimbursed.

The circus came into town on friday... Donna and Grandad came first and we went to crapplebees in which even the side salads had bacon bits on top, oh joy.... I was having a pleasant conversation with them until Grandad turns to me and says "so, how are you guys all reacting to the election" in my head I'm thinking oh great, this will take awhile.... Then Donna goes on and on about how the people are fed up with both parties and the tea party people just want to go back to the way we were founded and doesn't understand why these progressives like Nancy Pelosi and Obama are trying to make us more like Europe, when no other country offers what we offer.. I think this is complete bull shit, but we all know how she is, there's no use arguing with her... Then she goes into gay marriage and how she has nothing against gay people, but she doesn't think it should be called a marriage.. She thinks that they're trying to destroy the family unit and that things are different for a relationship between a man and a woman vs. two women or men... I try my best to keep myself calm and collected, but I can't help but want to cry.

Kristen Witte, my roommate has been dating a guy for a few weeks now and her parents came down for family weekend and were set on meeting him and were so excited for her. While I'm over the moon about her being happy, I can't help but feel envious that her parents will be excited to get to know who she's dating, while I've been dating someone for a year and they have no idea. It makes me feel sad that I think that I've embarrassed and shamed my family for being this way, but I can't help it. Do they think I want to feel like an outsider every time my friends come back from a drunken night to gab about guys or their relationships or anything of that sort. Do they think I want some of my friends to think it's a choice that I'm gay and am only like this, because I'm afraid of the penis or traumatized by a guy who did me wrong earlier in life? Do they think that I want to feel like a second class citizen, guaranteed only basic rights and even those may be slipping away in this state? I still want the same things I've always wanted, I'm still the same person I've always been... I just like girls instead of boys... Why does it feel like, because of this I'm doomed to always feel like an outsider? I don't feel like I belong with the gay community here, because they're often very cliquey and we don't seem to have a lot in common, besides being gay. While in the straight community, I stick out like a sore thumb, in which i'm the token gay person, that some people don't understand. I just wish that it didn't matter, I wish sexual orientation didn't make a difference. I just want to live my life in peace and without shame. Sometimes I just want to run away, cut ties with my family and just live my freakin life, but I know that I care about them and I want to feel the satisfaction of them loving me and accepting me for who I am... I just wish that day would come sooner :-(

Current Mood: gloomy
Sunday, October 24th, 2010
4:32 pm
What an interesting day...
Soooo, remind me NEVER to eat a potent "special" brownie and then go into the blazing sun and jump around at a football game....
Everything was going fine for awhile, until my vision went... could only see some blotches here and there and the end result was me tumbling down 2 or 3 rows of stairs... everyone stared at me for quite sometime after that
Sunday, June 6th, 2010
11:09 pm
I could really use a wish right now...
Hey everyone! I know I haven't used lj in literal months, butttt I figured since my job has completely taken over my life I'd try to update you all on my life as of late. So I finished my 2nd year of college and have finished my 2 year program of Earth Sustainability and I'm not sure where to go from here. The program pretty much opened a can of worms of the huge multifaceted environmental issues that we encounter everyday and currently contribute to. After the 2 years I've become more cynical about big government, american politics, huge multi-million dollar corporations. However, I have more faith in individuals and their ability to change things. I no longer put much effort into congressmen and other politicians, because it's quite ridiculous that huge corporations pretty much control congress. I do think that a more effective way to enforce change is through our everyday choices and what we choose to support financially. Clearly, I'm not suggesting that we live in a remote cabin with no modern technology and no sort of commercial items.. However, I think it'll be much more effective to practice what you preach and if you're against bottled water... instead of trying to tackle down the industry, buying a reusable water bottle and spreading the word to your friends and family the movement will start to cater to reusable bottled water and other reusable items rather than trying to go through a hell of a lot of red tape that's in our national government. It's kind of crazy to think, but I suppose in this regard I would be described as more of a republican, which in terms of social issues could not be further from the truth, but I suppose fundamentally I'm not too sure how much faith I have in our government. Anyways... the funny thing is that I'm working for the fund for public interest over the summer, which basically does the campaign and canvassing work to support multiple advocacy groups (Environment Virginia, USPIRG, HRC, Sierra Club) and we pretty much beg people for money. I work from 12:30-10 as a field manager and 5 of those hours are on my feet walking door to door dealing with bitchie people at the door. The people I work with are really fun and I enjoy spending time with them, but it's a pretty stressful environment. It's pretty cut throat, because they can't afford to keep people on staff that can't raise much money so a lot of people are let go within a day or so of working. Then the rest of us have to worry about at least averaging our quota to keep our job. THEN the field managers have to worry about averaging a higher quota in order to stay a field manager. So it's a very stressful and scary place when you don't make quota because you had a shitty neighborhood. I also feel a little dirty asking people to donate like $60 to help restore Shenandoah National Park, even though technically none of the money actually goes straight to shenandoah national park, it all goes to help fund the organization so that they can send out advocates to capitol hill to lobby on behalf of the shenandoah. I'm not too sure how much money I would give to an organization that may or may not actually get success at what they're trying to accomplish. However, this job has definitely introduced me to physically and mentally exhausting tasks and how to keep going even when it sounds so much easier to quit. Other than work, I've been spending the rest of my time commuting to and from work and then on the weekends seeing whoever I can on those two days and then spending as much time as I can with Jess. It's funny that the last two summers, I had to go back to school to have a break to relax wheras my summers have been so long and stressful... oh wellll
Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009
3:46 pm
What Hope sent my mother without asking me...
Hope Tobey November 3 at 9:52am
I'm really nervous right now.. typing this.
I was in love with your daughter. I still am.. but we broke up.
If we were closer, we wouldn't have. It was a strong relationship.. but it was flawed because we live so far.
I don't know if she's acting all happy or if she actually is and pretending to be sad around me, but i think she's really hurting. If I can do anything for her at this point.. it's to leave you this message in hopes that you'll understand that it's not some phase, that eventually she'll stop having feelings for other girls. She's bi, but has a stronger connection with girls. Her and I really had something strong.
I'm sorry that it's not the ideal outcome for your only daughter, but regardless if you do or not, you have to show her that you do support any decisions she makes. She loves you and values your opinion, it wont change the outcome but it will change her mood.
She's talking to someone new now.. Her name is Traci, I'm extremely jealous. I think they'll start dating eventually.. the thought eats me alive.

your daughter is perfection.
she's caring, understanding, BEAUTIFUL, just all around amazing.
i don't know who she gets her smile from but ... wow.

i just hope that eventually you'll grow to accept it. When I was in grade 8, my teacher's son committed suicide. He was gay. He didn't want to be. His mom (my teacher) was very accepting of him, but he still couldn't accept it himself. eventually word got around to his grandmother who he was close with and she basically disowned him. then on his third attempt he succeeded. she(my teacher) told me once that, her husband wasn't completely for it, but he'd prefer a gay son over a dead one. My dad did the funeral (he's a minister).

I'm not saying Amanda is suicidal, she's not at all. She's wonderful, and she's accepted herself. She's still nervous about what people will think, just like any other girl or woman. But she has definitely come a long way to understanding herself.

your daughter is amazing. she is perfection. you did an amazing job raising her. I hope that in the distant future i will be in her life again.
Right now it was just all too hard.

I don't know if I'm helping or creating more problems but I just hope that you will understand her position. It's not something she chose. It's something she feels.

I really love your daughter. She's made me happier than I've ever been and ever will be. I'm sorry that she's hurting and that it's my fault. It's something I never wanted to do. Her and I fought for our relationship for a long time. It was just too hard.

you don't need to reply, I just always wanted to message you.
I'm just a little late now..

take care
Sunday, October 18th, 2009
7:08 pm
So I went to "Live Homosexual Acts" and dragged my sorority sister Kristen along. It was so cute/sad/funny/just a good night all around. Two of the girls that I'm friends with both told their stories of coming out and my friend Sara's story was so touching. She met her girlfriend 4 years ago when they had a mutual "crush" on a guy, needless to say there crush on the guy didn't last long and they came friends after that. They began a tradition of watching movies together and Sara even visited Ginny while she was working as a camp counselor and as crazy kids are a random kid went up to Ginny and bit her on her neck and for some reason that was unsettling for Sara and she couldn't figure out why. Later they went back to Sara's place and sara couldn't get the image of that girl biting Ginny out of her mind and said " I mean who does that girl think she is? I mean I would bite your neck if it wasn't so weird". They became best friends and eventually at one point Ginny said "I don't want to be gay" and Sara said "oh psh I'm not gay either" but after she said it she wasn't sure and for some reason felt sad after what Ginny said. Then a week later they got together for their monthly movie tradition and Sara still feeling a bit awkward and sad about it they begin there night and it goes pretty normal for awhile, then Ginny looks at Sara and says "I want to kiss you". Sara gets severe anxiety and when Ginny kissed her hand she ended up throwing up she was so nervous. Ginny ends up cleaning her up and gave her a new shirt to wear. They then went to bed, Sara feeling embarrassed and ashamed, they slept as far away on the bed as possible, but then Ginny moved in and kissed her and 4 years later they're still together and Sara's "heart still skips a beat when she sees her smile"

The point of that adorable story is, I feel as though stories like this are rare in the lgbta community. Especially at a big school at Tech I feel like if you want to meet anyone queer you have to join lgbta or you'll be lonely. I just wish you could meet someone by chance just like the straight people do and you didn't have to orchestrate everything. I wish you could just be in a coffee shop or in a terminal and just lock eyes with someone and just have it grow from there. I wish you didn't have to hang out at a gay club or get a friend to hook you up with someone or just date or hook up with whatever is available just because that's all there is. I just wish we could all have a love story not just a well we met cause well they were the only one that was ok looking and was gay. Thoughts?
Sunday, September 13th, 2009
6:55 pm
So, I def mentioned it to her multiple times if she could possibly get headphones and I suppose she doesn't have them and doesn't want to invest in them. I asked her if she could listen to her music through headphones one time, because I was trying to write a paper and she turned it off then 10 minutes turned on the t.v. which is pretty much just as distracting. She continues to watch t.v. in the mornings and whenever else she's home that or has loud convos with people or listens to the music one of the three. So then last night she comes in around 3 in the morning and I'm already in bed and she comes in and starts banging around and then turns on the light, i guess she thought I wasn't there? Then she continued to keep the light on for a good 10 to 15 minutes. Then this morning I was trying to get my laptop charger at like 10:30 and it kind of scraped the wall a little and I guess woke her up. One of her friends called and she was like "yea I was rudely woken up by some banging in my room and also people texted and called me all morning" So that was awesome.... Then later on she was watching tv as usual so I was like you know what fuck it I'm just gonna watch something from my laptop too and she gave me a glare then just turned up the volume on the t.v. oohh life.

Other than my roommate drama I'm really enjoying life back at tech with my friends and the sorority. Went to the game yesterday and have pretty bad sun burn I really hope it's not sun poisoning :-/

Edit:This morning I ate cereal and since I didn't have dishwasher soap that it wouldn't be a bfd and used hers, in which i immediately received a glare and she called up her friend and is like guess what's already happened and it's only the morning. I left, because I had to go to class, but I decided to go to the store on my way back and buy dishwasher soap and I come back and see that she's hid the dishwasher soap... wow
Saturday, September 5th, 2009
10:51 am
So I know this may come off like I'm uptight and a bitch but...
I want a place to complain so what better place than livejournal. So I know that last year I had a really religious roommate but we were still somewhat friends we'd watch movies together and sit around and talk together and for the most part we were very considerate of each others space. I mean it could be worse, but sometimes i'm just really annoyed with my roommate. It started off fine kinda both did our own thing, but once classes started it was apparent that she literally has no work to do, because literally as long as I've been in the room she'll either be watching t.v. or listening to music without headphones. I mean sometimes I don't mind but there are times I'm actually trying to read this really intense article for a class or do my econ hw and there she is singing along to her music and I don't want to be the psycho bitch roommate that asks her if she could please listen to her headphones while i'm trying to do work so I go to the study lounge. She goes to bed extremely early like 10:30 early every night and ends up waking up around 8 or 9 and since she doesn't have class till noon watches The O.C. till then, which I wouldnt mind except that I can hear it and thus can't fall back to sleep. Then this weekend her friends came to visit her which I have no problem with at all like people can crash here it's not a big deal but they came back completely drunk around like 3:30 kept laughing about one of her friends sprayed this guy with mace who didn't attack her or anything she just wanted to do it. Then they decided to go to IHOP and didn't get back in till 4:30 where it took me about another half hour to go to sleep. THEN they woke up around like 8:30 or 9 and laughing loudly and listening to music and i'm like so much for sleep? So I dunno maybe i'm just having to get used to living to someone new, but I actually do miss my roommate like even though she was really religious we were very courteous of each other and if one of us was sleeping we'd try our best to be as quiet as possible. I mean maybe I'd be the same way if my friends came to crash but I would think we'd be a bit more respectful. I dunno maybe I'm just being too critical... oh yeah and one last note she was talking to her boyfriend on the phone the other night about her soccer coach and how she facebook stalked him and found out he was interested in both boys and girls and was like omg I'm so freaked out like that's sooo weird, I bet he's a creep. I was just thinking to myself why that makes a difference like soccer has nothing to do with your sexual orientation at all and I'm not sure why it's a big deal.. Oh well maybe you all will think i'm being uptight and that this girl is really cool or something but I dunno we def don't have much in common. We'll see how the rest of the weekend goes. Going to radford to watch the game with people tonight, GO HOKIES!!! Hope everyone else is having a great weekend!
Wednesday, August 12th, 2009
4:40 pm
I'm so pissed!
So that was a waste of money and time. I took this stupid calc 2 class spent at least $60 a week to pay for a tutor and still ended up with a D in the class. I was so confident that I was going to get a C I was like I'm rocking the hw and the quizzes and of course she'll end up realizing how ridiculous she is and cut us a break, that was a mistake on my part. I worked my fucking butt off, didn't go out much, stayed in spent hours on this stupid subject and I get a D anyway. Calc 2 is difficult anyway and she just had to make it even more difficult putting ridiculous problems up that no one knows how to do. She doesn't even know what she's doing and doesn't check what questions she puts on the test, just simply puts questions from the book up. She didnt' even check the questions she puts on her test untill afterwards and then realizes how ridiculously hard it is. She taught off of a powerpoint which pretty much consisted of her copying and pasting exactly what was already in the book. So great I spent a month and some odd days busting my ass and driving all the way out to Alexandria two times a week... to pass it but not be able to transfer the credit. She didn't put into consideration that this is a semester class that's difficult under normal circumstances and then was condensed into a 6 week course like of course she can't expect us to have mastered it by then.
Wednesday, July 15th, 2009
10:58 pm
ugh i suck at life
I'm so stressed out this math class is taking over my life and i suck at it! I'm like actually afraid i may fail but obviously i can't because i need this class, FML! Its too the point that i pretty much have to give up my social life in order for me to pass this class, so great... this summer is the best?
Monday, July 13th, 2009
8:16 pm
So... Hope and I broke up.
I've been thinking about it a lot lately and thinking about when we both go to Uni if it's hard now it'll only get more hard and just thinking about everything and just thought it would be for the best. I love her so much, but I just don't see where this pays off since both of our parents are against it and neither of us are in the position to uproot our lives and just live with the other person at this point in our lives. I don't want to force this relationship and then have it end on bad terms with no hope of reconciliation or chance to get back together. I know I've made mistakes in this relationship and I can't excuse my behavior, but I guess I'm just in the stage of my life that I really can't fully commit to a long distance relationship no matter how much I love her. When I go to university I'm tempted by other people because they're right there and she's not. I'm two years older than her so I guess I have to look at this relationship in a more realistic light rather than in fantasy and realistically I don't think it'd be wise to be completely committed to someone you cant see at such a young age. It's hard to keep focused on one person when first of all she's thousands of miles away with uncertainty of when you'll see her again and secondly when you're entire peer group is looking for random play while you're trying to be committed to someone you can't even see on a regular basis. I don't want to fight till we end up resenting each other. I don't want to end up hating her because I missed out on experiences in college and I don't want to blame her for that, because it's not her fault. I still want to keep her close to me still keep her in my life still be good friends just so maybe in the future when we have more of a chance to work. I just hope I didn't make a big mistake and am losing her forever.

Current Mood: depressed
Sunday, July 12th, 2009
11:52 pm
So i've been watching a lot of the 16 and Pregnant shows and it just reiterates my thoughts of never ever wanting to be pregnant. In addition I've noted that some of the girls on the show are completely immature and I really wonder how they're gonna raise their child. I know I'm nowhere near being ready to have a child so I have no idea how they'll be able to do it. oh lifeee. Summer is a lot more stressful than school so I can't wait to go back to Blacksburg. I'm really excited about getting out of the business school and hopefully switching school's won't be too difficult. I'm also excited that after I finish this class that is if I survive it I'll finally be done with math, woo! I'm a bit nervous about Economics because I've heard that it's a difficult class at Tech so we'll see how that goes. Other than that my classes all seem really interesting and fairly easy. I went biking the other day on the W&OD trail for 14 miles and am feeling fairly accomplished but I do notice that I did lose my breath quicker than I did in the past so I should prob take a break on the smoking weed scene. At this point I'm pretty much over the whole drinking thing although that may change when I'm back at school I just don't enjoy it very much end up making a fool out of myself end up drinking and then eating crap afterwards so I felt that I definetly gained weight after joining the sorority perhaps because of games like kings, slap the bag and flip cup. I still want to go out with the sisters though so maybe I'll just try to limit myself and stay away from chugging alcohol. It's annoying how much time I have to devote to this class and then working that by the time the weekend roles around im so exhausted that all i want to do is just lounge around. I think it's funny that I view school as more of my time to relax and sleep in rather than my actual summer oh how the tables have turned.
Saturday, June 20th, 2009
1:32 pm
So, today sucks...
I've spent the past 3 hours talking to my parents and have just left with tears...

I woke up and told my parents that I might need therapy and that my friends think it's a must at this point and then moved into the discussion of wanting to go see Hope next week. They said no, because first of all it's my fault I didn't apply myself in my math class at tech and am now they had to shell out $700 to make it up this summer and it's not right of me to demand I do something when I was the one who didn't work hard enough in the first place. They also said that I made a comittment to work this summer and that my time off was when I went to see Hope the first time and that I should then make the most out of the summer by working as much as I can. They also think it would be very unprofessional and rude of me to ask for time off only a week in advance. I then asked if there were any future dates I could possibly try going up there and they said that it's not unreasonable for us to not want you going all the way to Canada alone on a Greyhound, because you have so many stops to make and there are many creepy people on the bus that do not have good intentions and that bad things can happen anywhere. I then asked if it'd be possible for me to take a plane to canada and they looked into it breifly and just simply said that I don't have the time, because I need to put all my effort into this class and to getting as much money as I can for all of the things I need to pay for which are my social life, sorority dues, pay for the tutor I have this summer and for anything else I want to do.

Then I told them that I need to go and that Hope is more than just a friend and told them she was my girlfriend. My dad things I'm just confused and think that I am just going through a phase since it's college and so many people go through that stage and then realize later that that's not who they really are. My mom said I'd like to think I'd be ok with it, since I have a lot of friends from high school that are gay, but I'm not ok with it. I had this idea of what your life would be like... I had plans of giving you family heirlooms, with a family and children and I said that I could still have all of that and she said I'm just... not ok with it. She said that she doesn't think I made much of an effort at all to make myself attractive to men, which I guess is true when I really don't do much to my hair or wear much make up or really care about my looks. She says that I've never made a real attempt to date a guy and that if I'm truly bisexual I shouldn't just be open to dating girls, but should try dating guys first and foremost. I told her at this point I don't even know if I am bisexual and she's like so you're not giving it a try with guys like at all. You're not thinkin about like anything beyond tomorrow, you're not thinking 3 or 4 years down the road if you tell everyone you're in a relationship with a girl you might miss out on job opprotunities and be excluded from things because you've decided to be open about who you are and who you're dating. She says that it will stunt my ability to get a job because frankly a lot of people still aren't ok with it and she's saying if I choose to go down this path it's going to be extremely difficult and that I'm not thinking about the possible consequences. So she pretty much thinks that I shouldn't be committed to Hope and should REALLY have an open mind about actually trying to date a guy. My dad is pretty much just like the person in the background saying I just think you're confused and I told them I've felt this way and wondered about my sexuality for YEARS, like this isn't like just like a thing I'm doing to be cool or something. So moral of the story is they don't accept that I like girls, they don't accept my relationship with Hope, and they don't like that I was trying to make them feel like it's their fault that I can't go on trips or something during the summer for something that's my fault

Current Mood: blank
Friday, June 12th, 2009
10:05 pm
The Town Center is the place to be for people over 21.. like after midnight its all 20-40 something year olds at the bars... The Town Center has completely changed...
Went to the town center tonight with my friend Jozell we went to American Tap Room which looks nicer now but has fewer options, then walked around and enjoyed the atmosphere.. I wihs I could live in Reston or something like it my whole life because it's so gorgeous and everything is so nice looking and you take that for granted, but when you go to other parts of the country you're like i wanna go home! Then we saw The Hangover and it was hilarious i recommend it. Hope everyone enjoyed their night! I'm so tired lately with work and class i wake up earlier and have less free time during the summer than i did while i was in school, tell me how that worked out?!?!
Friday, June 5th, 2009
3:57 pm
hey everyone
So... After going to Canada I haven't really been doing much... Lets see the list of things I've done:
1)Saw Drag Me To Hell, drank a little Malibu Cocunut Rum beforehand, not a fan, Valerie loves the shit though
2)Hung out with Lindsay my sister from AGD, went over to her house in Mclean and it's huge like I've never actually had a friend that had such a huge house, she has her own like movie theatre place with cool chairs and surround sound
3) been working at the dental office, there making me write letters to patience that haven't been there for 2 years checking to see if they're with another practice or just not taking care of their teeth... I swear I'm developing a cramp in my right arm
4) I ended up withdrawing from one of my math classes at Tech before the end of the year cause I can't focus on math when I have no teacher and just am staring at a computer screen, so I have to take precalc( which i did senior year) at Reston then take calc 2 at Annandale to get credit for that class.. precalc is easy, but we'll see about calc 2
5) started going to zumba's on thursdays aka started going 3 weeks ago, I enjoy it, people should join me
6)Thought I had pink eye for a few days but really my cornia is swollen so don't worry if you've seen me lately you won't get pink eye

Other than that I've been hanging out, I cook meals for the fam on friday nights so I'm getting better at cooking. I made tacos last friday and whole wheat spaghetti with "meat sauce" the friday before that using morningstar farm meal starters and they couldn't tell the difference between real meat and the stuff I made, so maybe I can convince them to use that more often. I'm also trying to convince my family to eat healthier and go outside and walk and exercise more, hopefully as a family we can all get a bit healthier.

Was pretty disturbed this morning was about to leave for work when I see papa gurley walk down the stairs with just his whitey tighteys on I was shocked to say the least! I pretty much ran out of that house asap!

Other than that I've decided to go back and watch the entire series of Greys Anatomy so that's been a big time waster.

So yeahh pretty much being back in Reston hasn't been very eventful but maybe when the high schoolers get out there will be a little bit more excitement.. how cool am i?
Tuesday, May 19th, 2009
10:10 pm
If You're A Cat, I'm A Cat
Ok well I got back from Canada today around 11 and thought I'd update you on how the trip went.

It took Valerie and I 14 hours to get up there and had many awkward encounters with creepy bus riders and such, however we finally arrived around 8 a.m. I was soo nervous I didn't even want to get off the bus,but Valerie calmed me down and I got off. Hope and I hugged then we got in her friend Britt's car(who is also a lesbian) and we went to Tim Horton's which is this awesome place that mixed starbucks and panera bread it's like on every block in Niagara, but it's yum. We then went to Vicky's house to take a shower and unpack and take naps before lunch. We had lunch with 20 of Hope's closest friends at this chinese buffet place and it was surprisingly not as overwhelming as I thought it would be. However I wasn't feeling well and ended up not eating a lot pretty much all day. We then went hiking to this gorge by the river and it was breathtaking. It was rather scary at times and I felt bad for Valerie cause she wore flip flops so her feet were dead after that. Then after that we went back to Britt's house and ate some mac and cheese and chatted about life etc. Then Val and i went to the liquor store and bought alchy-Goldlager and a pack of Canadian Beer, aka I was the only one old enough to buy it, but it was really cool being able to actually buy it. Then later on that night we went to Britt's house and played catch phrase, but if we lost we'd have to drink, but it ended up that it was only Valerie and I drank cause Hope and Britt don't like alcohol that much. Valerie was all crazy as usual and for a long time the alcohol didn't seem to hit me then all of a sudden it did and I like browned out cause I can only remember some of what happened. Long story short I ended up being a mess and throwing up which I haven't done in so long and it was pretty embarassing for meeee.Then I ended up passing out on Britt's floor.

The next day was pretty rainy so we ended up just going to a diner to eat breakfast and then went back to Vicky's house and watch movies all day.

The next day we went down to the falls which were absolutely amazing in every way and took loads of pictures. We went to the touristy part of Niagara Falls to do the Fun House to take pictures in the weird mirrors. After that we wanted to go to the Butterfly Conservatory, but alas we were 20 minutes late so we ended up just walking around the gardens for a bit. Then we tried getting a hold of someone to drive us back to eat something, but no one could so we walked a good 45 minutes to get to the Great Wolf Lodge. We grabbed a quick dinner then went to the water park in the Great Wolf Lodge fo' free because Hope's friend Megan works there. We went down the slides for a bit and then lounged in the hot tub. Then left and went back to Vicky's to watch Valerie make a bigger dent in our alcohol stash, since I was weary of drinking after friday.

On Monday we went over to Hope's friend Emily's house and baked yummy cookie squares and layed out by her pool. Then after that we went cruising with Britt till we had to pack up and leave.

All and all I think the trip was a complete success and I had a blast. I just miss her soooo much and can't wait to hold her again. Trying to figure out a way for her to come down and see my life, but we'll see. I'm just so grateful to all of her friends that offered rides and homes for us to crash cause it would have been so much more difficult otherwise. Hope everyone has had a good first weeks of summer... enjoy the video
[ << Previous 20 ]
About LiveJournal.com